More Thoughts on Re-Parenting

Speaking of re-parenting, I was surprised to find the concept expressed in a book my sister recently gave me, Flight from Intimacy, by Janae and Barry Weinhold. Before reading this book, everything I knew about re-parenting I had learned from Arthur Burk of Plumbline Ministries; I hadn’t really encountered the concept elsewhere. I was surprised to learn more about it from a book that is not written from a Christian perspective. Like so many Christians who understand inner healing, the Weinholds believe that emotional trauma in the womb and during the first three years of life produce most of the wounding that we carry into adulthood.

The authors provide a list of “developmental affirmations” that represent the emotional foundation we all needed to receive during our first three years of life. Reading through them, I knew immediately that I had never received some of these assurances. Numbers 5, 6, and 7 seemed to really strike a chord in my spirit. The affirmations:

1. I’m glad you were born.
2. You belong here.
3. I love you just the way you are.
4. You are loveable and capable.
5. You can think for yourself.
6. You can trust your inner knowing.
7. You can ask for what you want and need.
8. I will not abandon you.

Which of these do you believe? Which do you feel strike a chord in your spirit, something that says, “I wish my parents had convinced me of that”?

If you have some holes (and the Weinholds believe 98% of us do), you can ask your parents, if they are still alive, to tell you these things. Or you can have someone you feel close to “stand in” for your parents and read the affirmations to you in their place. Or you can tell them to yourself. In these ways, the Weinholds suggest, you can begin re-parenting yourself.

I appreciate the Weinholds and the great contribution they have made to emotional healing in writing this book and recommending ways to re-parent oneself. It occurred to me, though, that as Christians, we have a superior option. We can take these affirmations to the Lord and ask Him to plant these assurances into our spirits. It’s as simple as making a quiet time (or preferably several) in which you can bring each of these before the Lord and ask Him about them.

“Father, are you glad I was born?”
“Father, do I belong here?”
“Father, do You love me just the way I am?”

And so on. And then listen with your spirit to His response. If you doubt, I don’t think He would mind if you asked Him to prove it to you. Scripture is replete with the answers to these questions, as well. So, have fun with these. I’d love to hear about your insights or the answers you receive from the Father related to these affirmations.